Wednesday, February 4, 2009

25—no, 16 Random Things

1. I'm partially deaf, which makes for humiliating and yet comic moments. I only wish so many of them weren't at my expense. Sigh.

2. I play both piano and double bass. But not at the same time, obviously.

3. I can teach six instruments of the orchestra effectively. Some less so than others, but every lesson adds to my skillz.

4. In two years I'm moving to L.A., most likely permanently. The most exciting thing about this is that I will (hopefully) be able to see a live performance of Gustavo Dudamel conducting. Yay!

5. My current celebrity crush (though I guess he's not a celebrity) is Rahm Emanuel. But you probably knew that.

6. Recently I decided to stop censoring myself so much. I used to be terrified of offending people. I'm not so much anymore. Paradoxically, at the same time I feel I'm getting better at conducting myself with some diplomacy. I think it's just a matter of becoming happier, with the non-censoring part coming out as humor. Offensive humor sometimes, perhaps. But I don't mean any harm. Better than hissy fits any day.

7. I currently have 340 e-mails yet to open in my gmail account.

8. I currently live in Chicago. I don't really want to move, because I really, really love this city. But I'm not tough enough for the winters.

9. When I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in Music Composition, I had something like 234 credit hours. I took every class I could get my hands on. I'd do it differently now. I'd take fewer classes and focus on the things I want to do, rather than trying so many different things. I don't regret that, exactly, except that i often ignored the feeling that certain things weren't working.

10. I've been watching 60 MInutes almost every week since I was 10 years old. I was the only kid I knew who had a crush on Ed Bradley. Perhaps I've always been a geek.

11. At 36, I feel both young and old. I've had a hell of an adulthood so far, with plenty of mistakes. But I've gotten to the point where I feel I've "paid" for them and then some. Time to be happy.

12. I still lament not getting to know Marcus better, the guy in my undergraduate English class who was the only guy who ever had the guts to tell me flat out that he was attracted to me. Almost all the others (the ones I didn't chase, that is) got to know me under the guise of "friendship," when they were really interested in sex or a relationship. Naturally, I knew none of this until later, when they were pissed I never picked up on the signals. (What can I say? I'm dense.) For some reason, this whole business of not bothering to say you like someone when you do kind of offends me. I mean, sometimes there are practical reasons for not saying so, but if you're single, and the person you like is single, why wouldn't you ask? Sure, rejection stings, but if you don't ask you'll never know.

13. I often fantasize about living in the country in a huge Victorian house with a husband and some pets and possibly a kid or two, a la Neil Gaiman. (But of course the husband would be someone else.) I want trees, purple mountains, those amber waves of grain. But I don't know if that's realistic, as I often get cravings for good thai food. I wonder how much of the city amenities I'd miss. Not that I need to worry about that, as my current financial situation does not exactly spell O-W-N-E-R-S-H-I-P.

14. I'm online waaaaaaay too much. I really should get off this computer.

15. Since I've started working out, I don't feel sick. I keep it up now because I feel soooo much better on days I exercise. I sleep better, too.

16. I want both to compose and write. It's silly that I have this dichotomous voice in my head telling me I'll never have time for both. Excuse me, but if I get off this freaking computer, I will.

I'm not sure how to tag people, so if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged. You're It.

14 comments:

Bevie said...

"double bass"? Not heard of that. I muck about with a bass guitar. No good at it, though.

"I can teach six instruments of the orchestra effectively." Wow!

"I was the only kid I knew who had a crush on Ed Bradley. Ed was my favorite.

"if you're single, and the person you like is single, why wouldn't you ask?" It's been almost thirty years since I was single, but I can still remember missing out on friendship after friendship for being terrified to tell them. And terrified is the word. For those who were only interested in physical stuff I doubt you missed much.

So, having admitted (by virtue of commenting) that I've read this, what does it mean to be "tagged"? Nothing strenuous, I hope. I'm not exactly young. [smiles]

freddie said...

ut I can still remember missing out on friendship after friendship for being terrified to tell them. And terrified is the word.

For me the likeability factor often outweighs the fear of being rejected.

Being tagged means you get to do one of these 16 Random Things now. : )

Bevie said...

You aren't shy, so you don't understand. The fear goes far beyond just worrying about rejection.

What is interesting is that, despite being neurotically shy, I can talk to complete strangers via blogs. Kind of odd, isn't it?

Random things, huh? Do I get to choose what the things are?

fairyhedgehog said...

I play both piano and double bass. But not at the same time, obviously.

Where are your multi-tasking skills? You're just not trying!

Oh, and I'm not tagged because I've been immunised against it.

Robin S. said...

freddie,

Thanks for posting these! These were really interesting to read, girl. From Gary Oldman to Rahm Emmanuel. You fickle one, you.

Columbia, huh? Wow.

And GO L.A.

freddie said...

You aren't shy, so you don't understand. The fear goes far beyond just worrying about rejection.

I am shy, actually. Almost painfully so. I just don't understand the not asking and then getting angry when things don't go as hoped. It's like trying to play Carnagie Hall without ever having practiced the piano, and then getting angry when it sounds like crap.

freddie said...

Well, that's Columbia College, Robin, not University. : )

Yep, but I gotta get over this Rahm thing. Waaayyy too much time watching the news these days.

freddie said...

I play both piano and double bass. But not at the same time, obviously.

Where are your multi-tasking skills? You're just not trying!

Now I'm going to try playing piano with my hands and double bass with my feet.

fairyhedgehog said...

Now I'm going to try playing piano with my hands and double bass with my feet.

That's better!

Sarah Laurenson said...

Now I'm going to try playing piano with my hands and double bass with my feet.

LOL

I'm shy, too, but most people wouldn't believe it. It's my strong personality that overshadows the fact that I hang back when I first meet people and don't go to many parties either.

I identified with a lot of what you posted - especially about not picking up on subtle signals. I don't do subtle. You want me to know something, you'd best hit me upside the head with a 2x4.

When you come to L.A., I'd be honored to have dinner with you.

Whirlochre said...

Playing the piano with a double bass — is that allowed?

laughingwolf said...

that like a contrabass? ;)

as for asking: nothing ventured, nothing gained - was my motto

and yeah, got shot down... a lot

now, i let the universe unfold... of its own steam

freddie said...

Playing the piano with a double bass — is that allowed?

I think it might actually be illegal in three states.

that like a contrabass? ;)

as for asking: nothing ventured, nothing gained - was my motto

and yeah, got shot down... a lot

now, i let the universe unfold... of its own steam


Your smiley face makes me think you're kind of joking, but yeah, the contrabass and the double bass are the same thing.

Nothing wrong with letting the universe unfold of its own steam. I think it's the interpretation that I shot some guys down, when in actuality I didn't, that bothered me. (Apparently, still does!) Just didn't know. You know? : )

freddie said...

I identified with a lot of what you posted - especially about not picking up on subtle signals. I don't do subtle. You want me to know something, you'd best hit me upside the head with a 2x4.

When you come to L.A., I'd be honored to have dinner with you.


Excellent on both counts. Being able to meet in person would so rock!!