Will Work for Food

By end of day Monday, I shall no longer be commuting two and one quarter hours to work. I shall be—how shall I put it?—out of work.

I hope it won't be for long, as I've already exhausted the patience of the Illinois Department of Employment Security when I last applied on a "just in case" basis. (Not that the IDES has a "just in case" basis, mind you.) Our conversation, in a nutshell, went something like this:

Me: I applied for unemployment benefits.
IDES: Were you fired from your job?
Me: No. I quit to go to school, and wound up not getting the grant I needed. I'm looking for another job; I just need to make sure I have enough to tide me over for a month.
IDES: We don't need your life story. So you got fired?
Me: No. I quit.
IDES: So you were fired.
Me. NO. I told you, I quit.
IDES: Well, we can't give you benefits, since you said that you were fired when you really quit.
Me: ARRRRRGH!! I never said I was fired! I told you I fucking quit! Fuck it, never mind. I found a job.
IDES: Still no benefits. But we've already filed an appeal on your behalf.
Me: What?! Why? I don't—
IDES: Well, we assume you still want our $277 a week.
Me: But I told you I wanted the appeal dropped.
IDES: Sorry. Talk to the judge.

So I guess I need to find more freelance work. Soon.