Monday, January 11, 2010

Clarity of Night contest

Below is my Clarity of Night contest entry. First time doing this.

As the Crow Flies

We're taking you to new land, they tell us. We need yours for our crops. So they force us to walk the thousand mile journey across the plains and through forests. We do not mind the lack of roads; the land gives us our nourishment and tells us all we need to know to find our way. We need no maps.

My brother stumbles along beside me, sick with the illness they brought. I hold onto a thin hope to find herbs to cure him, though in my heart I know the sickness is beyond the power of our medicine—our mother and sister died of this illness, their skin fevered and hot. My brother complains of the same aches, and I can feel the heat rolling off him like smoke from a well-lit fire. I know I will soon lose him, too.

Our father died as well, but in battle. I wish I could be brave like him, to rise up and fight, but I look at their weapons and know I never could. I have seen what those weapons can do.

I am very tired now. I want to lay down and sleep, but I know that is impossible. Instead I close my eyes for a moment, praying to the Creator that he'll bring the eagle, our symbol of victory.

I look up. A crow flies overhead. For a moment I despair. But then I realize that, like the crow and the wolf, we will survive our doom.

Now I am off to shower and study for my Logic Pro certification. Really behind.

9 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

That's a great story and I love the writing.

I was a bit put off at the end by initially reading "Now I'm off to shower..." as part of the story! Good for a laugh, anyway.

I can't compete with this level of writerly goodness and this is one competition I'm going to give a miss.

stacy said...

ROFL! Thanks, Fairy!

Wish you would enter, though. I think your writing is actually very good; you do yourself a disservice.

fairyhedgehog said...

That's kind of you stacy. Thank you!

laughingwolf said...

a redundancy, weapons, otherwise a great write :)

stacy said...

Thanks, Laughingwolf!

Amias said...

Congratulation on becoming a teacher, I have so much respect for this profession. It takes courage.

Sometimes the most courageous person is the one that fight dis-eases, and spread hope, where there seems to be none ... believing in self is the most important first step.

I so enjoyed this. Thank you for commenting on my story with all the errors, I got to be careful next time in attaching the right file. if you care to read it with the corrections, please visit my blog, and click on my short stories.

Sarah Laurenson said...

I got the same reaction as FHH. Off to shower? LOL

Well done. Hopefully I will get to them all this weekend and comment there.

Congrats on your certification!

Whirlochre said...

Great stuff.

I've not commented over at Con, but you're in my top 10.

stacy said...

Thanks, Whirl!!

Did you enter? I confess I haven't read all the entries and probably won't have time to before the deadline, but I'd at least like to read and comment on yours if you have. : )