Friday, September 18, 2009

In the Thick of It

Okay. In some ways the last couple of weeks have been hell. Worries about money crowd my thoughts nearly every moment I'm awake. Actually, I guess I should say those worries would if I let them. But I've been through this sort of thing before, and I've found the best way to handle it is to cross each bridge as I come to it. Some of the bridges seem pretty fucking flimsy, if you ask me, but if they're there I know I can cross them. Otherwise I will have to build one. Which, even though we're speaking metaphorically here, is a real pain in the ass. But I'm trying to put a positive spin on this by reminding myself that even if I don't get the extra "aid" (loan), it's extra debt I'm not taking on. In the long run, that's sure to be a good thing.

My unsubsidized stafford loan was disbursed, so now all I have to come up with is rent, utilities, food, and the balance of my tuition (that is, if I don't get the rest of the aid for which I applied).

As for everything else, I have too much on my plate. I've bitten off more than I can chew for sure, but I'm in the thick of it now and it's too late to back out of any of it. Sigh. I just realized how many cliches I used in this post.

EDIT: I've calculated. I'll need one more client to pay for the balance of my tuition (that is, if it's a family of 3 taking lessons - which seems quite common for me. Otherwise I'll need 3 individual clients). To pay for upgrades in software, I'll need 3 additional clients (families). I'm advertising, and over the last couple of weeks I've added 2 clients (one family, one individual), so I'm hopeful. OTOH, I'll need more for the credit cards. Onward and upward!


Whirlochre said...

The worst part of the Future Money Curse is that it can so often paralyze you in the active present.

I've had more than my fair share of money travails, and in the end, most of them turned out not to be as bad as my feverish imagination first cast them (blotting out all hope of the future! Vistae grim! Waugh!).

So keep on getting up each morning and getting on with what's possible in that day's X hour stint. The great thing about the future is that it never ever happens — so try not to be paralysed by it.

stacy said...

Right - I agree, Whirl. That's what I was trying to say, but . . . I don't think I said it as well as you. : )

Sarah Laurenson said...

Ah, the wonderful words of Whirl.

Yep - it never does happen the way we think it will. And that usually turns out to be a very good thing.

fairyhedgehog said...

Hi Stacy! I've just got back and seen how you're doing. It looks pretty scary at the moment although you seem to be working out how to cope. I hope it all goes OK for you.

Robin S. said...

I've been flat dead-assed broke before (for years, actually) and I didn't have the good things happening to me that you do, sweetie - you're doing great things, even if it doesn't always feel like it. I know money worries suck, but in the end, you'll be in a new place with your life. Have at it.

tiger said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.